Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Post-Bin Laden Twitter Round-Up

I know that everybody on the internet had something clever and original to say about bin Laden and Obama. I must have read 50 hilarious death certificate jokes the other night.

Still, shut up, it was an important event and I wanted to say stuff so I did and here are all my tweets from that night:

 Jeremy Peter Green 
Do you hear that...the terrorist attacks have stopped.....


 Jeremy Peter Green 
Whatever, George W loosened Osama up for him. Plus he killed hundreds of thousands of people trying to find him so credit where credit's due


 Jeremy Peter Green 
Republicans and feminists: "Obama belittles sexual assault of Lara Logan by dropping a huge news turd on her."


 Jeremy Peter Green 
We finally killed the guy who murdered 3,000 civilians! We had to kill 100 times as many civilians to do it, but it was mos def worth it


 Jeremy Peter Green 
Since I work at an intelligence contractor I hope we have a pizza party tomorrow...   


 Jeremy Peter Green 
Guy in October of 2001 being told that we'll catch Osama in 2011: "Haha yeah right, there's no way it'll take ten years to find the 9/11er."


(In response to this tweet by Michael Ian Black: Can't wait to find out who the new supervillain is.


 Jeremy Peter Green 
@  Him

Next day:
 Jeremy Peter Green 
Look, guys, the MLK quote isn't real. It doesn't even sound like MLK and it's not a good quote, it's actually pretty cheesy.