Monday, December 27, 2010

Festive me at Festivus in Adams Morgan

View more news videos at: http://www.nbcwashington.com/video.



Funny and intelligent NBC 4 journalist Tom Sherwood hosted a Festivus celebration in Adams Morgan. The turnout was disappointing. I don't think they did a good job of getting the word out for this year's event.

During the Airing of Grievances my simple but effective message, "YOU'RE A JERK," of course got the most laughs and the most screen time. Like Sherwood said, it's a universal sentiment. So basically I won Festivus.


    

        

Too bad I lost at Chanukah this year though.

And here's me being blurry in the navy pea coat on the far right:
Some of my friends are in the video too, I guess.

So happy belated Festivus, you jerks.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Tootin' and Crackin'

"Hey Steve, what's tootin'?"
"Hey John, what's crackin'?"

The correct answer to both is "a butt."

Sunday, December 19, 2010

What kind of a country is this? Re: gays

If gays are allowed to fight and die in the military, why can't they get married?! What kind of country is this?? God I'm so steamed now that DADT has been repealed!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Facebook Weather

Holy shit, have you guys seen the weather today?? Because I haven't and I would like to be told by people's facebook statuses.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Letter to Michael Bloomberg

I used the form on the website of the Office of the Mayor of NYC to send this:

Dear Mr. Mayor,

I'm a 22 year-old graduate of Wagner College on Staten Island with a degree in Government and Politics. I'm also an aspiring comedian and entrepreneur. I bought the domains BLOOMBURG2012.COM and BLOOMBURG2016.COM a few months ago with the hope that if you ran for president, you might buy one of them from me to catch the people who spell your name wrong in searches or the address bar. I'm writing this letter to request that you reconsider running for president, for my sake and for the sake of entrepreneurs around the country. I don't think anybody else will properly represent our interests. I'm keeping the domains either way.

Sincerely,
Jeremy Peter Green

Friday, December 10, 2010

Matt Damon and Reincarnation

If Matt Damon could choose to be reincarnated, I wonder if he'd want to be Bourne again.

Bernie Sanders Filibuster Midnight Marauds, loots your ears

Damn, Bernie Sanders sounds really chill with Tribe Called Quest in the background.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Musings and rants suck

Sign that the blog you're reading sucks:
The author talks about his "musings" or "rants."
Neither of those here.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Jordan Chase

Why does Jordan Chase need a one-way ticket if he has a private jet?

Monday, November 22, 2010

Are you master of your domain? (No, because I own it.)

February 2015 Update: This list is out of date. It's missing, for example, most of my Clinton domains.

July 2012 Update: I just ordered a buttload of domains for the 2016 cycle.

Last August, before the midterm elections had even happened, I caught PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION FEVER and became so impatient that I bought 50 political website domains to get ready for 2012 and 2016.

These domains have two intended purposes:
1) To make fun of politicians.
2) To make money from politicians.

Some of them are a candidate's name plus a year and some are two candidates' last names put together in anticipation of possible national tickets. In 2004, a man named Kerry Edwards who owned the domain KERRYEDWARDS.COM was offered $150,000 for the domain, or at least that's the highest offer I know of.

I probably won't get the right combination though. The most obvious ones were taken. For example, everything I wanted that starts with Romney was taken. Romney, who is overwhelmingly competent, charismatic, and rich, is very likely to win the nomination. Fortunately if that happens I have plenty of autographed baseballs and books. Most of the less obvious ones were taken as well.

Not all of these are .com's, and many of them have hyphens in them. Will these scrub domains have been worth it? I don't know. That might depend on how high I can get search engines to rank them. Already the ones that start with Jindal are worthless for 2012 because of the Sherman statement he recently issued, though they're still valid for 2016.

A couple of them are deliberate typos that I think people might commonly make, like Bloomburg and Palenty.

Here's the list, alphabetized for your convenience:

ANDREW2016.COM
BACHMAN-2012.COM
BACHMANNBAYH.COM
BACHMANNBUSH.COM
BACHMANNDANIELS.COM
BACHMANNFORTUNO.COM
BACHMANNHUNTSMAN.COM
BACHMANNJINDAL.COM
BACHMANNMCDONNELL.COM
BACHMANNPAWLENTY.COM
BACHMANNROMNEY.COM
BACHMANNRUBIO.COM
BAYH2012.COM
BIDEN-CLINTON.COM
BIDENCLINTON.NET
BLOOMBURG2012.COM
BLOOMBURG2016.COM
BUSHBACHMANN.COM
BUSHBAYH.COM
BUSHBROWN.COM
BUSHCAIN.COM
BUSHFORTUNO.COM
BUSHMCDONNELL.COM
BUSHROMNEY.COM
BUSHTHUNE.COM
CAINBUSH.COM
CAINFORTUNO.COM
CAINJINDAL.COM
CAINTHUNE.COM
CHRISTIEBAYH.COM
CHRISTIEFORTUNO.COM
CHRISTIEHUCKABEE.COM
CHRISTIEHUNTSMAN.COM
CHRISTIETHUNE.COM
CLINTONBIDEN.COM
DANIELS-2012.COM
DANIELS-JINDAL.COM
DANIELSBUSH.COM
DEMINT2012.NET
GINGRICH-2012.NET
GINGRICHPOWELL.COM
HUCKABEE-DANIELS.COM
HUCKABEEBAYH.COM
HUNTSMAN2012.US
HUNTSMANFORTUNO.COM
HUNTSMANJINDEL.COM
JINDAL-2012.NET
JINDAL-BROWN.COM
JINDALPENCE.COM
JINDALROMNEY.COM
JINDALTHUNE.COM
JINDEL2012.COM
JOE2016.COM
KUCINICH2016.COM
MARTIN2016.COM
NADER2016.COM
OBAMA-CLINTON.NET
PAWLENTY-THUNE.COM
PAWLENTYBAYH.COM
PAWLENTYBUSH.COM
PAWLENTYCAIN.COM
PAWLENTYFORTUNO.COM
PENCE-2012.COM
PENCEBUSH.COM
PENCEDANIELS.COM
PENCEHUCKABEE.COM
PENCEROMNEY.COM
PENCERYAN.COM
PENCETHUNE.COM
PERRY-2012.COM
PERRYBUSH.COM
PERRYFORTUNO.COM
ROMNEYAYOTTE.NET
ROMNEYBAYH.COM
ROMNEYFORTUNO.COM
ROMNEYHUCKABEE.NET
ROMNEYPALENTY.COM
ROMNEYPAWLENTY.NET
ROMNEYPOWELL.COM
ROMNEYTHUNE.NET
RYAN-2012.COM
RYANBAYH.COM
RYANFORTUNO.COM
RYANJINDAL.COM
RYANPAWLENTY.COM
RYANROMNEY.COM
RYANTHUNE.COM
SANTORUM-2012.COM
SANTORUMRICE.COM
THUNE-HUCKABEE.COM
THUNE-PAWLENTY.COM
THUNE-ROMNEY.COM
THUNEBAYH.COM
THUNECAIN.COM
THUNEPAWLENTY.COM
THUNEROMNEY.NET


Update: More domains have been added to this list as I've acquired them.

The "Bush" doesn't refer to George W. Bush, of course, but to Jeb Bush. Though maybe the Republicans will rally H. W. to run and then get him to pick a terrifyingly conservative vice presidential candidate to later take over for him, who knows?

You may have noticed there's no Palin. I've been to enough Republican events to know how polarizing she is even within her own party. Her name usually gets a lot of boos when mentioned. I don't think she'll win the nomination. No, all my Palin money is wagered on her merely announcing her candidacy, at political futures investing site Intrade.com.

Most of these domains just have ads up right now, but I'll turn many of them into parody sites that make fun of these candidates. Ideally I'll piss somebody off enough that he'll want to pay me to hand his unofficial website over, but even if that doesn't happen, making fun of politicians for its own sake is good enough.

One of the exceptions is Martin2016.com, which I'd gladly donate to Martin O'Malley's campaign if he decided to run.

If you don't understand this picture, google "santorum."

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Antiparticle Futures

Because of CERN's recent creation and sustenance of antimatter, I've been heavily investing in antiparticle futures.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

I feel like a spell has been lifted. Or a weight. Something liftable. Interesting site updates to come soon.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

UHall

Looking forward to UHall, the club that is actually a giant moving van that drives around DC while you're inside it.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Mike Pence

Rep. Mike Pence (R) is a lot nicer in person than he is in real life.

Science Club

If it weren't for the periodic table on the wall, I would be pretty skeptical that this place in Dupont is actually a Science Club.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Glorious, Holy, Gloryholious News

Just a reminder that I'm going to the official Republican results watch party at the Grand Hyatt with press credentials tonight so that I can take pictures of the faces of fat cats as they react to glorious, holy, gloryholious news. And also make some money from autographs.

Maybe they'll have some big celebrities there like Robert Davi and Stephen Baldwin!

Monday, November 1, 2010

No Shower November

Okay, okay, guys, fine. I'll participate in No Shower November.

At least it's better than Septum Piercing September. Not to mention Janital Piercing January.

Leg update: I always manage to pull the hamstring in my not-as-bad leg. Now I'm using the more recently cadaverized leg as my good leg. This kind of thing happens to me a lot.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Popeyes Wall

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sonderkommando

Cell phone picture I took of a Popeyes wall several months ago.

I actually love this picture though and think the chickens are really cute.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

National Republican Congressional Committee Election Night Results Watch

The Republicans are having a party on election night at the Grand Hyatt hosted by Haley Barbour and John Boehner. Even though I'm helping the O'Malley Campaign, I just made a phone call and had myself added to the press list. It should be fun watching O'Malley win with a bunch of Republicans. And also weird watching most of the other Democrats get killed with John "Rainman" Boehner.


If you call a Jew a "fiddler on the roof" to his face you'll regret it


This is a pretty accurate caricature of me as an evil Jew crushing people's houses and celebrating their misery. It's where the ethnic slur "Fiddler on the Roof" comes from.

By one of my favorite artists, Marc Chagall.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Flock of Jews

I think a group of Jews should be called a "flock" after seeing all the bird beaks at my Grandpa's 85th birthday party. Mamma mia!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Juan Williams and NPR

Juan Williams's firing seemed pretty justified to me, despite Huckabee's devastating boycott of NPR. I wouldn't want to employ a journalist who's afraid to fly on a plane with Muslims; that would get in the way of the job.

Update: Why is it so hard to understand that NPR only employs badasses? There's no room for people who pee their pants when they see hijab on a plane.

Update: Maybe I should have said "sheiks on a plane." No never mind, that would have been stupid. Good thing I didn't say it.

Update: Okay, fine, for the sake of search engine optimization, I'll say it: There's no room in NPR for people who pee their pants when they see sheikhs on a plane!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Trail of Shit Leading to a Couple of Cops' Horses

There are way too many puns I could make about this photo for me to even bother. I took this in Manhattan a couple months ago with my cell phone. Click the image for full size.




Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Humorously/Offensively Worded Yahoo! Sports Ben Roethlisberger Update

Ben Roethlisberger is one of my fantasy quarterbacks. Here is the latest update I read for him on Yahoo! Sports.

"Advice: Roethlisberger was cheered loudly during his first regular-season game since he was accused of, but not charged with, sexually assaulting a Georgia college student in March. He had his way with a shaky Cleveland defense...." Good one, Yahoo! Sports and STATS, Inc.!

Here is the official update on Stats.com, a sports data website used by many websites including Yahoo! Sports.

You really raped those Browns, Big Ben! Ho ho!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Arlington Professionals

Arlington is weird and it's like Maryland, but people are even MORE professional!

Friday, October 1, 2010

Owwwww

I'm pulling another staple out of my right knee.

Gah, so much blood! I feel like I'm in Dances with Wolves.

(I'm not just doing this because I'm insane, it had already started to come out and I decided to do something.)

Update: It took fifteen minutes, but I got it! There's only one staple left now.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Gilbert Gottfried on Greg Giraldo

 Gilbert Gottfried's Twitter: If Greg Giraldo is cremated, will that be the "Greg Giraldo Roast?"

Gg GG @ GG!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Alan Grayson's Despicable "Taliban Dan" Ad

Alan Grayson's political attack ad is even worse than I had thought.



I was already angry at him for calling his opponent "Taliban Dan," which I thought was offensive and gave ammunition to Republicans. But the sound bites he took from his opponent are actually completely deceptive, quoting something that Webster was specifically saying he's against. I like some of the things Grayson has done, but what a piece of shit. This is the only race this cycle in which I'm rooting for the Democrat to lose to the Republican now.

Deceptive tactics like this move political discourse in a terrible direction. I hope Grayson gets destroyed.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Post-Surgery

I'm starting to be able to walk again after my double knee surgery. To be clear, I had the ACL replaced in the left knee with tissue from a cadaver and I had "hardware removal" in the right knee to get rid of a screw left in there from surgery a couple years ago. I started trying to remove the staples from my right knee, but I stopped. This is all from rugby, which I'm done with after four different ligament tears and a bunch of other minor injuries.

Monday, September 20, 2010

My Second ACL Surgery

I'm finally getting an operation tomorrow morning to replace my left ACL so that I can have matching dead person tissue in both knees. This is really more of a cosmetic surgery.

Edit: If you're wondering why, it's from tackling a large man named "Chunk" during a rugby scrimmage in March.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Still Ear Infected

My ear is screaming at me. Since when was puss so loud?

I really shouldn't have bothered going to that hipster house party in Columbia Heights.

Knee surgery very early in the morning on Tuesday. Getting my ACL replaced with dead person tissue, my meniscus fixed, and the screw sticking out of my right knee shaved down.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Mike Pence Wins the 2010 Values Voter Summit Straw Poll

Wow, Romney only got third in the straw poll, even with my vote for him! Pence actually got first. Huckabee was third. Pence was also first choice for vice president with Palin second.

Interesting result. At CPAC Romney loses to Ron Paul because of the concentration of libertarian-leaning activists. At VVS he loses to Pence and Huckabee possibly due to the concentration of serious social conservatives.
Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.9

Hot Christian Conservative Activists like Lila Rose

Why is every young female Christian conservative activist really hot? Oh right, obvious reasons.
Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.9


Robert Davi, Republican Elbow-Rubber

Why is Robert Davi at every fucking event I go to? Oh, right, because he's a big Republican. I always see him at things and recognize him, but don't know who he is. I finally looked him up this time at the Values Voter Summit in DC.
Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.9

Friday, September 17, 2010

Auto-Tune or Ear Infection

I can't tell if this song is using Auto-Tune or if it's just my ear infection.

Update: Even my voice sounds like it's being Auto-Tuned. It's kind of neat.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

I Went to Gov. Tim Kaine's Unveiling of the New Democratic Pary Logo Today and It Was Kind of Weird

Tim Kaine reveals the new logo for the Democratic Party.

Yeah, it was weird. They showed a few movies about the Democratic Party with a projector, and a couple people spoke, and then former Virginia Governor and current DNC Chairman Tim Kaine spoke and unveiled the new logo for the Democratic Party, as well as a redesign of the website. And then suddenly a bunch of young people ran out and started throwing tons of t-shirts into the audience! I caught one, of course.

Kaine speaking to several news cameras. Look for me on the news helpfully holding up my t-shirt with the new logo on it.
Horrible picture of Kaine and me.

Monday, September 13, 2010

DC Vegfest 2010

I went to DC Vegfest on Saturday. I can't believe they held it at George Washington University. I found out from a booth that Washington actually owned animals!

Kind of crappy vegan paella.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Animal Kingdom

Australian crime film Animal Kingdom was pretty good, but it could have used more animals.

Friday, September 10, 2010

World Trade Center lights

For anybody in New York City, it's kind of fun to find where the two giant 9/11 beams are being shot from. They're not actually being shot from the World Trade Center. They're on the roof of a big parking garage and if you go to the top late at night you'll be with a small group of people silently standing there.

I did that once during my sophomore year of college while waiting for the Staten Island Ferry around 3AM. I took pictures, but those are gone.


Koran burning and focusing anger on no-brainer issues

Oh no, the Koran burning might not happen! What simple issue will people focus their anger on on facebook so that they don't have to learn about economic issues and poverty? Oh right, gay rights.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Animal Farm

Just finished reading George Orwell's Animal Farm. Excited to read the sequel, Animal House.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The time I got a congressman to give Bill Clinton a bunch of my stuff to get signed, was more or less featured on the front page of the Staten Island Advance, and briefly met the former president

Former President Bill Clinton came to my alma mater Wagner College to campaign for Staten Island's freshman Democratic congressman Mike McMahon. I'm an autograph dealer so I made sure to be first in line for the event.
Photo I took of Clinton with McMahon in the background
I got six large photo prints and a book signed. The larger three of those were signed because I enlisted a nurse friend of mine to help me. Here is the cool part of the story though: While Clinton asked what my name was and signed my book for me, he ignored my three photo prints. My nurse friend managed to give her three prints to an aide for Clinton to sign later, but I was unsuccessful. As Clinton and his entourage were moving away from me, I thought I had failed to get my three photos signed.

But then Mike McMahon, possibly Staten Island's most awesome congressman ever, came over to me and took my photos to give to the president to sign later. I felt pretty cool getting a congressman to take a bunch of my stuff to get signed by a president so I could sell it on eBay later. This was the third time I've met McMahon and he's been gracious and friendly every time. His staff was friendly too before and after the event. I really hope he gets reelected and I wish I could vote for him.

I also made the news!
The front page of the Staten Island Advance

There's Clinton signing my book. I got it signed to my dad as a birthday present. I'm the "supporter, one of the 1,600 people who attended the event" mentioned in the caption! I wonder how they knew I was a supporter and not just some autograph-dealing scumbag.

Here's the photo print that he ignored at first in the understandable interest of expediency, but later signed behind some curtains: 


Inspiring! I need to drape a giant American flag on one of my walls so I look patriotic more of the time.

August 2012 update: So far I've sold four of the six photgraphs for an average of about $500 each.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Craigslist

I'm very sad Craigslist had to get rid of their Adult Services section because they were sued for 100,000,000 roses by various state governments. :(

Uncle Sam really got Clist's full tissue in a vice.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Comedian Bob Schimmel had a pretty uncomedic background and ending. He was born to Holocaust survivors and he just died in a car crash.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Man at Glenn Beck rally unwittingly spells out "OBAMA" at World War II Memorial

I took these pictures at Glenn Beck's Restoring Honor rally Saturday. This man covers up the exact right letters of ALABAMA to spell OBAMA with the help of the large wreath above.


Nice work, conservative guy!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Alveda King and Republican Affirmative Action

I'm going to Glenn Beck's gigantic rally at the National Mall on Saturday. If you think it's in bad taste for him to have the rally on the anniversary of Martin Luther King, Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech and to speak from the Lincoln Memorial as King did, don't worry, because you're wrong.

Alveda King, niece of MLK, Jr., is one of the scheduled speakers at this event, completely owning anybody who thinks Glenn Beck is showing tremendous disrespect for Dr. King by co-opting the setting and imagery associated with King's legendary speech in a disgusting effort to associate himself with King, and the Tea Party movement with the civil rights movement, in people's minds.

Alveda King with Mike Huckabee in 2008. (AP Photo/Gerald Herbert.)


Alveda King is one of the few people who benefit from both major forms of Republican affirmative action:
1. The openly endorsed affirmative action for the relatives of rich and important people that gets people like George W. Bush into Ivy League schools and 2. The hypocritical affirmative action for blacks in the Republican Party, due to severe underrepresentation, that gets people like Michael Steele prominent positions. This kind of affirmative action is not acknowledged because it's exactly the kind of affirmative action Republicans officially oppose. This is also one of the only situations in the United States where Jews actually benefit from this type of affirmative action as well.

Though King would have almost definitely been an opponent of the Tea Party and disagreed with almost all of their official and unstated planks, Beck believes you can't ignore that one of the many members of King's extended family is willing to work on behalf of the Tea Party and the GOP for a shitload of money.

So really this rally isn't that bad. Definitely no worse than pretending to know what the founding fathers would think about NAFTA and net neutrality.

Unaired Seinfeld joke

From Wikipedia about the fifth episode of the show: "This episode contains the first Seinfeld reference to Superman, which would be a recurring feature in later episodes in the series. An earlier draft of the episode featured Jerry arguing that in a nuclear holocaust, when everyone is very depressed, Superman could cheer everyone up with his "super humor". George responded by saying that no-one would laugh because they would blame Superman for not stopping the holocaust in the first place.[2]"

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Sort of featured on Shilling Me Softly

Shilling Me Softly, a blog dedicated to making people realize how absolutely horrible and destructive an idea law school is, displayed a Gawker comment of mine. I'm a "featured commenter" on Gawker, which is nice. I'm working on getting that status on Gizmodo because a lot more people read the articles on Gizmodo and I like the stuff they write about.

Shilling Me Softly made a post about an out-of-touch Gawker article about public interest law. Gawker often shows a lack of understanding of the legal world in their articles about quirky legal stories, which is understandable because it's not something that a layperson should be expected to be interested in. SMS showed some of the responses to the article that they found interesting, including one of mine. Here is what they wrote followed by my reprinted comment:

"Jeremy Peter Green" explodes the misconception that procuring a public interest job has always been a cakewalk:
You're just fueling the myth that public interest jobs are relatively easy to get. Public interest jobs are very hard to get! And environmental, civil rights, constitutional, and international law jobs are virtually non-existent in the sense that new law students mean. One of the reasons so many people are going to law school and ending up jobless and in gigantic debt is because they think they can get some 60k job helping people that nobody else wants because of the low pay. Completely wrong. 

Why the Cordoba House shouldn't be built

Well, the thing is, relatives of the victims of the attacks, when they visit the memorial, will be devastated that the abandoned Burlington Coat Factory building is gone and that instead there's a Muslim community center far enough away that you can't actually see it from Ground Zero, but is still in the general area!

Update: Gah, apparently some people can't tell I'm joking.

Friday, August 20, 2010

North Korea Tweets

The videos being posted on North Korea's Twitter are pretty cute. "I uploaded a YouTube video -- [무용]-우리는 조국의 수호자 행복의 창조자- http://youtu.be/eYAZ9iRyu4c?a"  This one has an elaborate brownshirt dance.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Fire Drill

"The fire drill is over. Everybody can go into the apartment building." --Somebody speaking through an intercom I didn't know I had about the fire drill I must have slept through.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Overheard in New York: Manhole Explosion

In this quote on Overheard in New York from a few years ago, I was the inquisitive teen and my friend Max submitted it. The fireman was a pretty archetypal blue collar outer borough type. It was pretty funny. I didn't even realize until now that 800 other people had also had a chance to think so!

Monday, August 9, 2010

Lucid Dream, Inception

Last night I had the first lucid dream I can remember having in years. And as soon as I realized I was dreaming, I thought, "Whoa, this is like in Inception!" And I woke up pretty soon after. I don't remember much about it at all.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Boris at the 9:30 Club

Boris, the Japanese experimental/metal band, at the 9:30 Club tonight was pretty fun. I honestly find some of their slow songs pretty boring, but other songs of theirs are great. I don't normally listen to metal either. They were interesting to see live and it was neat.

The drummer banging the shit out of a large gong, swathed in light.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Amsterdam Falafelshop

Amsterdam Falafelshop is very good and its falafel probably beat Max's. I don't know what processed animal those balls are made of but it's very good and makes me glad not to be a vegetarian!

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Background for the Anthony Weiner video: Republican Party is evil

Here is some background for this awesome Anthony Weiner video. The Republican party is evil. Any honest article about the Republican Party ends up sounding like hyperbolic propaganda because of how despicable they are. When you say "the Republicans stopped 9/11 first responders from getting health care" it sounds like you must be exaggerating or full of shit, but they really are just a horrible organization.


Edit: And you can poke at this story by saying that the Democrats were trying to use procedure to avoid having the Republicans add their own shit to the bill, but so what? They were trying to avoid having the Republicans kill or ruin a simple health care--for-heroes bill.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Wow, this video is awesome.

Anthony Weiner really angry on the floor:


Thursday, July 29, 2010

NO SMART TRIP

Message from maintenance or political protest? Taken with my cell phone.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Noam Chomsky Comedy Traffic

This clog has been getting a small, but consistent stream of traffic from people googling things like "Noam Chomsky comedy" since I quoted that email he sent me. No other search term has been consistently bringing visitors here.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Ottomans

Ottomans are like... not ottomans for dogs at all if you think about it... they're like something else, for them...

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Hebrew National Hot Dog Contest

I entered a hot dog eating contest in Catonsville, Maryland hosted by Duesenberg's as the prelude to their Independence Day parade on July 3rd and got third place after eating ten hot dogs in ten minutes. The trophy is maybe the nicest prize I've won in a contest, but I think I'm through with competitive eating forever.

I ate the exact right number of hot dogs in order to get a trophy. If I remember right, the fourth place person ate 9.5, and the fifth place person ate 9. I started getting seriously worried about throwing up after maybe the sixth hot dog and it was hard to keep going. The two leaders crushed me though, battling it out until the better athlete had eaten 12.5, beating the runner-up by half a wiener to be crowned Catonsville's Biggest Wiener!

Ugh.
 Ready for more!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Thanks a lot Obama

The earliest cadaver surgery date I could get was September 14th. THANKS A LOT OBAMA! Who cares if poor people have health care when a rich white guy can't even get quick knee surgery so he can get back to playing the stupidest, most dangerous sports he can find?

My Knee

Knee update for any rugby scouts: Doctor looked at my MRI results and said, "Your ACL is gone. There is no ACL in your left knee. Your meniscus is also torn and your MCL is strained. It's exactly the same as your last injury, but worse. Here, look what happens when I do -this-. Your knee is comically unstable. Have some vicodin." Will schedule surgery on Monday.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Seriously, I'm not exaggerating when I say the Republican Party is evil and the if you want to improve the world, you should start by voting against Republicans. Watch this video.

Edit: It's not right at Ground Zero though, it's two blocks away. At least they're not surrounding Ground Zero with minarets though like the Hagia Sophia.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

!!!ARRIBA!!!

Look at all the exclamations in the play-by-play written commentary for the World Cup, this is pretty funny to me. "UFFF, ¡¡CASI MARCA RAMOS!! Busquets la pone con rosca y Ramos llega desde atrás pero no conecta con el balón."

http://futbol.univision.com/20100707/alemania-vs-espana

Montgomery County Evil Headquarters

I'm helping the O'Malley Brown campaign in Maryland and my boss and I scouted out the brand new Ehrlich Kane headquarters in Rockville. It's much bigger than our headquarters, has its own building, a ton of land and parking spaces which they've used to put up huge signs, and it's in a better location as well. The lot is full of these huge signs and big SUV's while the inside is full of obese people. Here are a couple reconnaissance photos I took with my cell phone:


By the way, if my last name were Kane and I were running for office, I think I might use the slogan "KANE IS ABLE."

Band

Somebody should make a band or a porn movie called Dybbukkake (combination of dybbuk and bukkake).

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Hot

It's hot as a ball of balls today in the DC area!
Have a cat.


Thursday, July 1, 2010

Islands

I'm seeing Islands tonight, probably my second favorite band named for an Alduous Huxley book!

Friendship

I think the Friendship Heights metro station should be renamed to Friendship Hearts to be even more friendly.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

I think Ratatat is my favorite Pokemon-themed band, beating out mU2 and all the others.

Dropped my beeper in a bidet, gonna need all your pager numbers again.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Whole Foods Metro Ad

I think this ad is sad and not because of the graffiti.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Gum

I'm now able to confirm that what they say about gum taking seven years to digest is a myth. It only takes three!

Thursday, June 24, 2010

I've been trying to put my best foot forward, but I think my knees are on their last legs. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say I kneed surgery ASAP, heh heh heh.

Edit: For people who don't know what I'm talking about, I tore a couple ligaments in my left knee in March, a mirror injury of one I had in March of 2008, and have been walking around, but I need to get surgery again to fix it.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

The Real L Word

I like how Showtime acts like it's just a given that lesbians are supposed to be naked all the time with their advertising for The Real L Word.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Some pictures from the Capital Pride Parade

I love living in a city Democratic enough that almost all the major politicians embrace the LGBT community and throw me beads at the Pride Parade. Here's Eleanor Holmes Norton having fun:

Other pictures that didn't come out terrible because of the crowd:



Ella Fitzgerald.

Metro Balloons

Taken at the Tenleytown station late on a Friday night with my cell phone. That's my backpack on the lower left.